Better Writer

This semester, I have truly looked at my writing process more carefully and reconsidered my techniques. For one thing, I've learned that outlining every step of the way is not necessarily the best way to let my writing freely flow together or even let my style present itself. When you start and finish your essay with outlining and making sure that the "structure" is not ruined as you are in the process of writing, you are constricting yourself to writing only one kind of paper. In this way, ideas cannot even fully develop themselves and if they do, it is incomplete and unfinished.

Furthermore, I've learned that free-writing, my favorite form of writing, can be done for the "real" academic-setting papers as well. As I've learned from Elbow, it is the way to get the brain to start brainstorming and generating ideas. On the side, I've also been reading Mike Rose's "Writer's Block: The Cognitive Dimension" and he pretty much confirms what the other theorists have been saying as well. He especially highlights the importance of knowing when to begin "editing" a paper. I have realized that I sometimes try so hard to make sure each sentence I'm writing makes sense grammatically that I can't even let myself freely write because I am unconsciously or not worried that I'm not making any sense so I try to edit way too early. All these worries of following the "right format" of writing and etc. and I am paraphrasing Rose himself, end up giving you so much writer's anxiety that ends up building an obstacle so you sit in front of the computer, wondering how to start writing, and write on your face book that you are facing the worst writer's block...

Finally, I've learned to share my writing with peer tutors to get second and third opinions after a rough draft. In fact, it is good to have tutoring sessions with "writing consultants" to talk about my writing even before starting the writing itself and get help for the pre-writing stage. After all, I keep telling all my students about this at Hostos in my class and to the students that come to the writing center at LaGuardia. And besides, to become good at something, one must be willing to take criticism, that's how he/she learns. So, now I'm ready to show my writing to other people and "take" criticisms about my writing. I'm ready to become a better writer.

Holidays & Worries

It is that time of the year again. Right around the time when it's thanksgiving holiday and I'm flooded with papers! Yup it happens every year! It's almost like tradition. Actually, last year it didn't happen. Last year, I was a free bird. Last year I took one semester off from school (transitioning between undergraduate and graduate school mostly). Somehow, I feel like I am so much more now, so much more alive, now that I am back in school. It is when I am buried under paper assignments and having more and more panic attacks due to deadlines and its pressure... It's almost done now. Only two weeks or so left and then I can officially take a breath from school and work all together....at least until January again.

Another thing I'm absolutely worried about is my students' CATW exam day approaching. They are taking it on Dec. 10th! That is not very far away! Oh I hate this part when I can't even be the one to judge them to give them the green light to say GO you passed even! I just have to let them take the step to the testing office and the world outside our classroom and all that we've been doing thus far. Then after a week, I will be "given" their scores along with my lead teacher. Honestly, I don't know which one to be more worried and nervous about, my school workload or my students passing the CATW?

Talking about Writing & Revising

As you all may know, I currently work in the writing center at LaGuardia Community College and have been there for about 3 years or so. My daily job is to meet students and talk to them about their papers and eventually tutor them to become better writers. Well, recently, I've been told by a professor that I need to start showing my own paper to peer tutors. It is true, indeed, that I am sometimes very aware of sharing my paper. I think it goes back to my past with my older sister and father who whenever they "looked at" my paper, started to criticize it so much and start changing around the sentences so much that I really felt like it wasn't my voice anymore. As a writing center tutor, it is always my responsibility to be careful not to steal someone's voice when helping them out with a paper.

So now this is my goal. I'd like to really start showing my written work to peer tutors so that I can get that second and third opinion for my writings.

Students' Improvements

It is now the 18th of November and in about 20 days (Dec. 10th), my students will be taking the CATW exam. Although I am absolutely nervous and anxious for them, I must admit that every single one of my students have improved in their writing in one way or another. I'm comparing them with the first CATW they took in class and the first writings they used to hand in to us. Both my lead teacher and I have agreed that even if they don't pass this stupid test, they all have improved and have become better writers and readers. This is one thing that I am truly proud of with my students.

I do hope they all pass the test only because I don't want them to become discouraged or think in any way that this class was a "waste of their time" because as I mentioned, they have indeed improved. Less than 20 days. Lord help us!

Lives on the Boundary...

It's been about three months now since I started co-teaching at Hostos Community College. I've been learning a lot as I've been going about teaching, about writing, about the system, and about my students. One thing I've been noticing is that these are the very people that Mike Rose wrote a book on, the lives on the boundary. The ones who have been failing reading and writing, the ones who are misunderstood, the ones who are dedicated to learning but are often misrepresented by the "system."

There is one boy in my afternoon class, let's call him "George". For some reason, I feel like he thinks he's still in high school. The way he acts as a student and as a classmate. He just doesn't take responsibility. He sits in class (if he ever makes it on time) and after numerous "warnings" by the CUNY Start director and the lead teacher, he still manages to tease and bully a student in our class who by the way has a learning disability. He just continues to do half-a**ed jobs on the homeworks and CATW papers. In fact, the most recent CATW I read from him looked exactly like what he wrote when we first took the test from the class as an assessment, not at all following the outline we have provided for the class, no improvement basically!

So my lead teacher has decided to kick him out of the program officially. He has already had so many warnings and has failed to make any progress in anything. Though at first I was very upset with her decision trying to say that isn't he exactly one of those "lives on the boundary"? And shouldn't we, as compassionate teachers, be willing to work hard to hear him out? Maybe he just comes from a background that you and I can't understand. But, after further investigation and much thought and reflection on my part, I realized that perhaps this must be in his best interest. The truth is, we've already been giving a lot of chances to him and he hasn't made much progress at all no matter how much we tried to reason with him. The problem now is not only him but the fact that he ruins the dynamic of the class by distracting others and teasing a classmate as I mentioned before. Perhaps after he leaves this program, he will learn more to appreciate the chances that are given to him!

Taking Control of Tutoring Sessions

Today, I found a sheet in my mailbox at Lagcc writing center that includes some good writing/grammar practicing websites in it that we can give to our tutees. So here they are, if any of you would like to give it to your students:
1. CUNY Write Site: http://www.writesite.cuny.edu/
2. Guide to Grammar & Writing: www.grammar.ccccommnet.edu/grammar
3. Grammar Bytes: www.chompchomp.com/menu.htm
4. Big Dog's Grammar: www.aliscot.com/bigdog
5. English Page: http://www.englishpage.com/

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On another note, I've recently been trying to implement my tutoring sessions based on what I've been learning at my Writing Center Theory and Practice class. One thing I've realized about tutoring as I've tried the different techniques, which also applies to teaching, is the ability to take risks and really take control of a tutoring session. At times, when I see a student who comes in with a B+ and wants to work for an A, I immediately feel like ''ok, what am I supposed to help him with. He obviously has the main points of the essay. What can I really help him with to become a better writer, and not just edit his paper?" However, recently I've just been taking control of the situation and stepping out of the "cubicle" (the place where we work with students) and letting them work on a specific task. At first, I used to think "oh no, the student might feel like I'm not providing the help I should or perhaps my supervisor will think I'm just being lazy". But then I see that my supervisor says nothing and my students actually benefit a lot more. This really reminds me of our class a couple of days ago with professor Gleason when she said: "sometimes 'less' is more."

Merely a poem, just playing with words. And colors.

**This poem was inspired by the sceneries I passed by on my way to NY today in the bus. So so beautiful. I truly love Autumn.**

"Feast of Colours"

Green is for life

Though love is set in strife

Within a sip of wine,

there's cerise, perfect to dine.

With a red that is on fire

A yellow that's dire

A sun that is bright

Orange in its light

Fathom this image

Imagine the mirage

Close your eyes to destiny

But hold your heart and be free

This city is great in its Autumn

Great in its colours, never common

Let the leaves brilliantly fall

Breathe in the cold air this Fall

Maroon takes its own place

Relax, but try and win this race

Pace in the distance

Run right into resistance

Let it rain

Smile and take the pain

Let the wind guide you

Pause. And now you know what to do.